journal between 2 slices of orange and a twist of lemon

life is easy. sometimes. for some. obviously for those smiling and chatting every day, at work, at school, at home, when they`re out with friends, having fun or just spending crumbles of the shallow time. and what about those who do that every single day… at work or school or when surrounded by people, but deep inside they rip their hearts out and drown them in the dark, black, thick night that follows everywhere they`d go? what about those happy faces that cry for help from under the laughters? what should they do when they struggle and fight in the morning just to open their eyes? in those moments, the air gets too thin, then too thick and then thin again… breath… don`t breath… clash against the grey light of the tired city… pain…. no, not pain.. just a drop of biterness. sour like green lemons… get out of bed! wait.. stop fighting… it`s cold… and dark.. wasn`t there supposed to be a light? a white, warm light?? between the heavy eyelids, the pale sun. there! the city is awake… a bit of sunny morning. a slice of orange and some toast.. too burnt.. half black.
work.smile!!! a twist of lemon, yellow like the september moon, cruel and sharp like the end.
end of day. warmth. another soul melting slowly. summer breeze, his breath against the cold skin…eyes grow bigger and darker. depth. fever. the dark, black sea dreams away, drowns inside herself and revolves… clear, blue sky. a bunch of sun rays. rainbow. smells like fresh oranges, another slice of sweet delight, drops of sugar and moonlit summer nights. and that twist of lemon, goddamit!